It’s been a really stressful week and I’m glad to finally see it end. Today was my last day at a job I’ve had for 17+ years. When you’ve worked someplace that long it’s impossible not to define at least a part of yourself by the job. I’m at the point tonight when I’m realizing that now when I meet someone and they ask me what I do for a living I’m going to have to decide how to answer them. Who am I now?
For the last several years I’ve been enjoying my job less and less. Much of it has to do with changes at work resulting in an environment of both micromanagement and a disconnect of local authority. In addition, there’s been a very unclear chain of command and a number of dotted line organization paths. Initially I threw myself into my work and ignored or mentally overpowered any negativity these circumstances brought. But recently I’ve been feeling extremely frustrated and stressed. There’s even been signs of depression.
Three weeks ago the H.R. Manager took me aside and informed me that upper management had decided to lay-off one of my departments employee’s and they were looking for me to select which one of my people to let go. There had been no prior discussion. This was a matter of bean counters looking for a quick way to cut cost. It didn’t matter that we were already down a person this year and all my people were good performers. So, long story short, I gave the H.R. Manager my name and told him that I volunteered for the lay-off. It served a double purpose of giving me a way out of a position that was slowly killing me, and saved the job of one of my employees who I care about and respect.
I’ve spent this last week trying to prepare my guys for the immediate future on their own and saying good-byes. I don’t have any doubts that it was the right thing to do. Now I just need to figure out how to answer that question.
Technorati Tags: job, layoff
That’s got to be stressful. I hope it works out well for you. I was at a conference last week and had a hard time answering exactly what I was doing… a little consulting, a little blogging, not much of anything. Even though I know my professional work doesn’t define me, it was a bit distressing to try to come up with an answer that satisfied people.
Anne;
Thank you. I find myself all over the map with this just now. Luckily I’m able to take some time with this. I probably won’t seriously look for anything else until the first of the year. Hopefully by then I’ll be operating from a better place with a clearer goal of what I’d like to do next. I honestly believe that in a year I’ll probably look back and say that this was a good move.
I wish you the very best of luck. Your actions were and are very elegant, graceful, and courageous. The world has a way of making these types of things work out for the best. Again may all your wishes come true to you as you move forward.
Dean
Dean;
Thank you very much for the kind words…