Measuring Up
If you’re searching for a post strictly about photography, this isn’t it. The subject of this post is where the meandering aspect of my blog comes into play.
Consider this: we are constantly surrounded by supposed benchmarks of “success.” Social media platforms often showcase curated lives filled with achievements, beauty, and happiness. Television has multiple season competition shows where there is one winner and the rest are losers. Friends and family may achieve milestones that seem out of reach, while we may still be holding on to our own past goals and dreams. Amid all this, it would be easy to feel inadequate or guilty for not meeting those ideals, of not being a winner. I’m a survivor of guilt, and a witness to guilt’s a heavy burden and takes a personal toll. If guilt were made of stone, I could probably have built an Egyptian pyramid by now. However, I have made significant progress in learning to let go of undeserved guilt.
I think many of us can easily fall into a trap of comparison to others if we’re not careful. When we see someone living their ‘best life,’ we may inadvertently judge ourselves harshly for not being in the same position, which can lead to anxiety for ‘not measuring up,’ possibly resulting in self-deprecation. I’ve often joked that it seems like “everyone else” must have a secret password or method for achieving all their outward successes: one I somehow missed. However, what we usually don’t see is the hidden cost of others’ accomplishments. They might be facing debts and challenges that we couldn’t or wouldn’t be willing to handle.
We each must define our benchmarks to “measure up” to. It’s important to celebrate accomplishments, acknowledge progress, and appreciate your individuality while continually striving for improvement.
I have concerns for our young people who are growing up subjected to so many of these “false” benchmarks. I hope they can find the strength to recognize their worth and set healthy benchmarks that are uniquely theirs.
Hey, it’s still a work in progress here as well.
I always thought that the person who doesn’t feel guilt is capable of terrible things. Embrace the quilt. It’s part of basic humanity.
To a point, I agree with you, Ken. However, while there is appropriate guilt, there is also inappropriate or undeserved guilt. If taken to that level, it can be debilitating.
True.
I’m also a survivor of guilt and even shame. Comparison and competition was pounded into my head at an early age and I was shown many “false” goals and ideals. And some of these comparisons were there to inflate me at times. I was a fast runner in my grade schools years I let that inflate my ego.
The competitive aspect of our society is depressing for me. Sports, schools, advertizing all focus on being better or above another. Why do we need winners and losers? Is there really such a thing?
It is far more advantageous for me to strive for improvement in my life rather than wanting to be better than someone else. If I want to create better photographs, poems, painting, dancing then I must put in the practice. I really do like this topic and believe it would be a great topic over coffee and conversation. Thanks for the thoughtful topic and it was said very well.
A tall coffee, this is a lot of territory to cover over coffee. Haha! Thanks, Monte.