I’m a planner. I like having a basic idea of what’s suspose to happen and where things are going. This doesn’t mean I haven’t or can’t be spontaneous, letting things develop without foreknowledge, but that’s not my normal mode of operation. I’m more comfortable with plans in part due to my controlling characteristics–yes, one semi-neurotic tendency feeding another. ;-)
A recent piece on DailyOM spoke of what can happen when we allow ourselves to be “Tied in Knots” when planning goes astray.
The essence of the piece was:
When overwhelmed and things are not going as planned, it is natural to hold tighter and try to force things to go our way. Our mind tells us this is how to get a firmer grip on a situation feels out of control but we are blocking the flow of energy, exhausting ourselves by exerting more effort yet accomplishing less–it is better to let go.
We need to let go of the idea of what the perfect outcome should be and we need to let go of our imagined consequences and realize, in most cases, the worst which could happen really isn’t that bad.
What could be easier then just letting go, right? Wrong! Letting go can often be one of the hardest things you can do. Letting go means the old adage “work hard and you can accomplish anything” is not always true. Letting go means giving up any control you may think you have over the situation and trusting your fate to the universe–in truth you may have little or no control, but perception is often reality.
Learning what you do control and what you don’t is often hard earned knowledge. Being able to apply this knowledge to your life in a meaningful way is wisdom.
Personally, I’m a work in progress.
I can relate to all that you’ve said. It is also difficult for many of us to see how tight our grip is because we are so involved in seeing how tight a grip they have. I, too, am a work in progess.
Monte, Thanks for the comment and interesting point–our perception of others.
I think we often perceive others as being “more in control” then they really are. There’s been numerous times when I’ve met people who on the surface appeared to “have it together” only to find out later that it was all a house of cards. I’ve certainly had my own share of facades. :-)