Principles of Adult Behavior — Silicon Valley visionary John Perry Barlow
| 1. Be patient. No matter what. | 14. Learn the needs of those around you and respect them. |
| 2. Don’t badmouth: Assign responsibility, not blame. Say nothing of another you wouldn’t say to him. | 15. Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that. |
| 3. Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you. | 16. Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun. |
| 4. Expand your sense of the possible. | 17. Praise at least as often as you disparage. |
| 5. Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.18. Admit your errors freely and soon. | 18. Admit your errors freely and soon. |
| 6. Expect no more of anyone than you can deliver yourself. | 19. Become less suspicious of joy. |
| 7. Tolerate ambiguity. | 20. Understand humility. |
| 8. Laugh at yourself frequently. | 21. Remember that love forgives everything. |
| 9. Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right. | 22. Foster dignity. |
| 10. Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong. | 23. Live memorably. |
| 11. Give up blood sports. | 24. Love yourself. |
| 12. Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Don’t risk it frivolously. | 25. Endure. |
| 13. Never lie to anyone for any reason. (Lies of omission are sometimes exempt.) | |
Quotes that resonate with me:
“Hope isn’t a plan.” — Lyssa’s Flight, M. D. Cooper
“Communication is more than just air blowing over meat flaps” — Unknown
“Respect yourself enough to walk away from ANYTHING or ANYONE which no longer serves you, grows you or makes you HAPPY” — Unknown
“Somewhere something incredible is waiting to be known” — Carl Sagan
“With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.” — Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek Next Generation
“One day, you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Do it now.” — Paulo Coelho
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” — Anais Ni
“Once Is Never, Twice Is Always.” — Old German proverb
“Things change, and they don’t change back. But sometimes they get better.” — Nemesis Games, James S.A. Cord
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” — Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad
“Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” — Miriam Beard
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the Tradewinds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breath, trust and let go and see what happens.” — Unknown
“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” ― Isaac Asimov
“I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.” ― Robert Louis Stevenson, Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes
“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.” ― David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
“Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.” ― Gustave Flaubert
“But that’s the glory of foreign travel, as far as I am concerned. I don’t want to know what people are talking about. I can’t think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything. Suddenly you are five years old again. You can’t read anything, you have only the most rudimentary sense of how things work, you can’t even reliably cross a street without endangering your life. Your whole existence becomes a series of interesting guesses.” ― Bill Bryson, Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe
“If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.” ― James A. Michener
“Travel brings wisdom only to the wise. It renders the ignorant more ignorant than ever.”
― Joe Abercrombie, Last Argument of Kings
“make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality, nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.” ― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild
“Damn right I’m gonna miss it! But nothin’ lasts forever. And this seemed a good time to make a change… And a good reason, as well.” — Marcus in “Rescue” The Frontiers Saga, Part 2 — Ryk Brown
Advice for those Between 65 And Death (Me)
Many of us are between 65 and death . Here’s some good advice you might want to follow.
01 – It’s time to use the money you saved up . Use it and enjoy it . Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it . Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital . Warning : This is also a bad time for investments , even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof . They only bring problems and worries . This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet .
02 – Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren , and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself . You’ve taken care of them for many years , and you’ve taught them what you could . You gave them an education , food , shelter and support . The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money .
03 – Keep a healthy life , without great physical effort . Do moderate exercise ( like walking every day ) , eat well and get your sleep . It’s easy to become sick , and it gets harder to remain healthy . That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs . Keep in touch with your doctor , do tests even when you’re feeling well . Stay informed .
04 – Always buy the best , most beautiful items for your significant other . The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner . One day one of you will miss the other , and the money will not provide any comfort then , enjoy it together .
05 – Don’t stress over the little things . You’ve already overcome so much in your life . You have good memories and bad ones , but the important thing is the present . Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you . Feel good in the now . Small issues will soon be forgotten .
06 – Regardless of age , always keep love alive . Love your partner , love life , love your family , love your neighbor and remember : A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection .
07 – Be proud , both inside and out . Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber , do your nails , go to the dermatologist and the dentist , keep your perfumes and creams well stocked . When you are well-maintained on the outside , it seeps in , making you feel proud and strong .
08 – Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age , but keep your own sense of style . There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters . You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it . It’s part of who you are .
09 – Always stay up-to-date . Read newspapers , watch the news . Go online and read what people are saying . Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks . You’ll be surprised what old friends you’ll meet . Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age .
10 – Respect the younger generation and their opinions . They may not have the same ideals as you , but they are the future , and will take the world in their direction . Give advice , not criticism , and try to remind them that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today .
11 – Never use the phrase In my time . Your time is now . As long as you’re alive , you are part of this time . You may have been younger , but you are still you now , having fun and enjoying life .
12 – Some people embrace their golden years , while others become bitter and surly . Life is too short to waste your days on the latter . Spend your time with positive , cheerful people , it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better . Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around .
13 – Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren ( if you have a financial choice , that is ) . Sure , being surrounded by family sounds great , but we all need our privacy . They need theirs and you need yours . If you’ve lost your partner ( our deepest condolences ) , then find a person to move in with you and help out . Even then , do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone .
14 – Don’t abandon your hobbies . If you don’t have any , make new ones . You can travel , hike , cook , read , dance . You can adopt a cat or a dog , grow a garden , play cards , checkers , chess , dominoes , golf . You can paint , volunteer or just collect certain items . Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it .
15 – Even if you don’t feel like it , try to accept invitations . Baptisms , graduations , birthdays , weddings , conferences . Try to go . Get out of the house , meet people you haven’t seen in a while , experience something new ( or something old ) . But don’t get upset when you’re not invited . Some events are limited by resources , and not everyone can be hosted . The important thing is to leave the house from time to time . Go to museums , go walk through a field . Get out there .
16 – Be a conversationalist . Talk less and listen more . Some people go on and on about the past , not caring if their listeners are really interested . That’s a great way of reducing their desire to speak with you . Listen first and answer questions , but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to . Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to . Try to accept situations as they are . Everyone is going through the same things , and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints . Always find some good things to say as well .
17 – Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older . Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through . Try to minimize them in your mind . They are not who you are , they are something that life added to you . If they become your entire focus , you lose sight of the person you used to be .
18 – If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them . If you’ve offended someone – apologize . Don’t drag around resentment with you . It only serves to make you sad and bitter . It doesn’t matter who was right . Someone once said : Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die . Don’t take that poison . Forgive , forget and move on with your life .
19 – If you have a strong belief , savor it . But don’t waste your time trying to convince others . They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them , and it will only bring you frustration . Live your faith and set an example . Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them .
20 – Laugh A Lot . Laugh at everything . Remember , you are one of the lucky ones . You managed to have a life , a long one . Many never get to this age , never get to experience a full life . But you did . So what’s not to laugh about ? Find the humor in your situation .
21 – Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking . They’ll do it anyway , and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved . Let them talk and don’t worry . They have no idea about your history , your memories and the life you’ve lived so far . There’s still much to be written , so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think . Now is the time to be at rest , at peace and as happy as you can be !
And , Remember : Life is too short to drink bad wine.
Steve Korker 2017/05/31
I asked a friend who has crossed 70 & is heading towards 80 what sort of changes he is feeling in himself? He sent me the following:
1. After loving my parents, siblings, spouse, children, and friends, I have now started loving myself.
2. I have realized that I am not “Atlas.” The world does not rest on my shoulders.
3. I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more will not break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.
4. I leave my waitress a big tip. The extra money might bring a smile to her face. She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.
5. I stopped telling the elderly that they’ve already narrated that story many times. The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.
6. I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.
7. I give compliments freely & generously. Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient but also for me. And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, say “Thank You.”
8. I have learned not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt. Personality speaks louder than appearances.
9. I walk away from people who don’t value me. They might not know my worth, but I do.
10. I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race. I am not a rat & neither am I in any race.
11. I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. It’s my emotions that make me human.
12. I have learned that it’s better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. My ego will keep me aloof, whereas, with relationships, I will never be alone.
13. I have learned to live each day as if it’s the last. After all, it might be the last.
14. I am doing what makes me happy. I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy at any time, just choose to be!