The image above is a crop of the image below to show the man who I was sharing the Salisbury National Cemetery with on the morning of this photo. I’d seen him slowly making his way about the cemetery, spending time reading the monuments or placards and stopping at certain individual graves. I know he saw me to, moving about, shooting, moving a little more then shooting again.
I was curious of him, but I didn’t act upon my curiosity. Instead, I fell back into my introverted ways and never tried to strike up a conversation about our common interest of the cemetery that morning — opportunity missed — perhaps story missed. I didn’t feel he was hostile or especially seeking his privacy and no doubt he probably held some curiosity about me and my activities as well. Exchanging a few words would have been no big deal. There was opportunity.
I’ve regretted not making that small extra effort, even if it yielded nothing. But since I don’t get a do-over, I’ll turn this regret into resolve for next time.
Like you, I have let many opportunities for human contact slip away. The 100 Strangers project has helped me become more interactive with people.
http://blog.flickr.net/en/2011/08/26/100-strangers-100-personalities-100-stories/
One of my “Strangers” sent me a quote from W. B. Yeats, “There are no strangers here, only friends we have yet to meet”. That’s close, anyway.
Bob Dein
Bob, thanks and I appreciate the link to the 100 Strangers Project. I’m going to check it out. It’s definitely an area I need to work on improving.
I also have missed a few opportunities to connect with friends I’ve yet to meet. I’ve also missed a few photo opportunities because of fear to approach someone and ask for a chance to take their photo. Probably more of those. But we can also meet some neat people and not need to take a photo. I’ve heard of the 100 Strangers Project but did not know it was a project. I just thought it was someone’s personal project.
Monte, I didn’t realize the 100 Strangers Project was organized either. I’ve looked at it but I don’t know if it interest me or not.
I have had many very interesting experiences when I have taken the leap and made that contact with someone I didn’t know.
Steve, I know there’s more to gain then lose by taking that chance. I’m basically an introvert so it takes some effort on my part.
I agree with the other posters – I’ve missed many photo ops with people, simply because of an illogical fear of approaching them and getting rejected. It’s not like I want to ask them out on a date! But fear of rejection for whatever reason is a very real obstacle for me.
I’m really enjoying the cemetary series…thanks!
John, it’s very hard for me as well and this wasn’t the first time I’ve “chickened out.” :-)
Regardless of you beating yourself up, that is one hell of an image, I’d have been delighted!
Colin, thanks! I’m learning to get over things quicker then I use to and beating myself up is not nearly as painful as it once was. :-) I’m certainly pleased with the photo but I like a good story as well.
I agree with Colin, this is a powerful image made better by the person in it.
I think I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve intentionally interacted with strangers when I’m out shooting. I’m just not wired that way but I do understand your regret.
Ken, thanks. I’m looking to become the person who’s never met a stranger, but I’d like to get better at personal interactions then I am now.
It’s a very good image, Earl. I think it could have been much better, though, if you could have gotten closer to the man. From this distance, even with the crop, it’s not “personal”. We don’t know if he’s connecting in some way with the graves or if he’s just one of the caretakers. Just my opinion!!
I tend to be very shy around other people as well. With one big exception. If they have a camera with them, I treat them as if they’re an old friend. I just walk right up and start talking. I ask them how long they’ve been in this particular spot, whether or not they know of other places in the area, and so on. Sometimes I get “rejected” anyway, but not very often. Most people like to share what they’re doing (photographically), and they’re at least as curious about you as you are about them. They want to know where you’re from, where you’ve been and where you’re going.
Paul, the true story is…I was composing this shot based upon the lines of headstones and the monument on top of the hill when this gentleman walked into the frame. I shot it thinking if I didn’t like him I could photoshop him out post-processing. Well, not only did I like him in it but I wished, like you suggested, I’d been much closer. There were a few other photo with him but bother that jumped out at me.
I can understand the perceived difference if they are also taking photos. It would be easier for me to strike up a conversation in that situation as well. Good point!
I understand your reluctance to strike up a conversation. I’m certain I would have reacted the same way. The shots are excellent for their tonal quality and the graphic look of the cemetery stones. Fine shots.
Don, it being difficult to talk to a stranger seems very common, which is kinda a shame when you think about it. I wonder if it’s harder now in this age of fast past technology then it was when the pace of life was a little slower? Sounds like the making of subject for a followup post sometime. :-)
I like the croppped version very much – it enhances the contrast between the regularity of the cemetry and the randomness and chaos of the beautiful trees in the background. Brilliant work!